What's this you ask?
.....and why do I have a picture of the stupid thing?

THE BAIN/BANE (whatever) OF MY EXISTENCE TODAY


It all started.....

I looked out the bedroom window this morning to check on the supposed overnight heavy snowfall that was predicted on the late news.
Sure enough...there it is
But...not toooo too much really. Just enough to have to clean the van off, not to onerous a task a quick swipe and I was good to go.  Hmmm even the roads weren't that bad.  Maybe the last 5 miles or so the roads were a little covered in snow....the snow plows that I noticed were all on the other side of the road as is the usual case at 530 in the morning.  But all in all ....passable, the other vehicles on the road were driving in what one would expect them to do....staying away from each other.

Then my phone tweets

It's a text

I sorta have to check....so I am on a straight stretch with no other vehicle around me...I check
"pls stop at petro stn out of tp"

wtf

I had to call on speaker phone, had no idea what she wanted

"toilet paper"


ahhhhh....yes.....I remember now.
It's all called INTUITION

 I really hate that stupid word.  
INTUITION....INTUITION.....INTUITION

And I hate the feeling, as it's happening even more.   I always wonder, as it's happening "why is that thing in your eye sight so significant"  "what's that stupid voice in the back of your head REEEEallly trying to say, anyway----SPEAK UP  stupid voice.

Just before I left home this morning.....I was using the facilities....

and thinking....for some reason the roll of toilet paper caught...and held my eye
because my daughter called me as I was driving home yesterday... to enquire if I could think of anything that she needed, specifically....as she was just about to go to the checkout line at the grocery store before she got home....(yes yes yes,...of coarse her husband was home with the kids ---that's why I wasn't sheeeesh)
I listed off a few things.  All food related
I also remembered this morning as I'm eye balling my own roll of tp that hmmm.  I remember searching out and finding the last roll of her toilet paper on monday.   And thinking......as I'm sitting on my own thrown this morning....."I wonder if she knew she need TP"

As it so happened I had to replace my own roll .....and that stupid voice in the back of my head that doesn't talk loud enough for me to actually pay attention....was making my hand hover over the package of tp....But that moment passed.

That's the scene that came back to me after the phone call about stopping to get some for her.

Shit....why didn't I take that stupid package .....honestly....i was cursing myself.  And saying how I really have to start paying attention to that stupid voice.

So I stopped at the gas station

I was only going to run in for a sec and grab a pkg ...."what the heck" leave the van running.
....grab my purse
....leave my cell phone on the seat----for some reason---that stupid voice never said anything.....just made me actually look at my phone for a good looooooong time.  duh ...left it on the seat
...for some reason
my mind's eye  ....caught the sight of the door look as I was leaving the van......telling this story I can still see that stupid ass image in my stupid mind.  What the heck was so significant about the stupid lock anyway.  It was up....goooooood. The keys were in the ignition.....gooooood.   The van was running....goood.   I'm asking myself at that moment ------"WHAT'S WITH THE LOCK ANYWAY, SPEAK UP.....STUPID VOICE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD ----THAT SEEMS TO BE MUTE"---I'm in a hurry here, whatdoyouwant.........!!!!!

I closed the door
I grabbed toilet paper package
I paid
I walked up to van
I NOTICED THE LOCK WAS DOWN
WTFFFFFFFFF

I could not believe it.........and I noticed all the other locks were DOWNNNNNNNN
It's a quarter to 6 in the morning
I'm neither ...here...nor...there
I have my purse
I have noooooo cell phone
I have noooooo keys
My van is running.

I swore...alllllllllot

I went back into the store.....I remembered seeing my daughter with a spare set of my keys in her hands months ago...but it was at my place.  I hoped and hoped and hoped some more that they were in her house and not my house.

You think I could remember her stupid ass phone number
I don't know anyones phone numbers anymore...only the ones that I've known forever. Nothing really recent in the last 10 years.  And I especially don't know anyones cell #'s.  They are all stored in the stupid phone sitting on the seat of the van....the locked......running....van
And no one has home phones anymore....just cell phones. Including us all

whattodo   whattodo

I called my husband
his phone was going to voice mail\

ffffff...kkkkkkkk
...who the hell was he talking to at quarter to 6 in the morning.
....what does he do when I'm not there anyway
...and who does he talk to ........this will need further exploring

I tried a second time

....yay he answered
...couldn't figure out how to access his contacts while on the phone that stores his contacts
...I wanted to hit something......honestly learn to use your phone........!!!!!!!!

I'm getting loud...people are staring at me in the convenience store.  I have to call him back so he can find the #

I call him back
....He can't figure it out...".everything is speed dial no numbers are showing up"

....there are baaaaaad words exchanged
....people are staring
......text her.......then.!!!!!  you figure out the language used.  It's too much to have to spell it all out here

There is a women standing next to me at the register....she's about my age
I ask her
"are you in a real real hurry at this moment"
"why" she asks
"I need to get a set of keys at my daughters...just down the road"  I explain the rest
"You want a ride"?
"Would that be out of the question?"
"NO,come on"
It's not out of her way, and there is a short cut to the main road about a block or two away from my daughters, so she's happy, I'm happy, and thankful.

I run into her house.

In a panic...and praying she has a set of keys

In the meantime.......my husband.....finally figured out his stupid phone and managed to relay my predicament to her.

"what's the matter, calm down...yes I have a set"

CALM DOWN SHE SAYS.

The kids get woken up...dressed...stuffed in the car.  I have to make promises of chocolate bars just to get them in their boots.

So everything worked out ......

....except I was supposed to take them for flu shots....there's a mini epidemic here, and
THEIR MOTHER THAT WORKS IN THE HEALTH CARE INDUSTRY AND HAS TO GET FLU SHOTS HERSELF......
Didn't get them for her family.
...I know....
"I" can't believe it......Me and my husband have always gotten them...since I worked in longtermcare. I just automatically get them---even though I don't have to anymore.  I just really really hate being sick.  I'm a baaaaaaad sick patient.  And my husband is even worse.  So we always get the flu shot.

So now, today....I have to take them.
....except it snowing
....freeeeeking snowing....lots

There was no snow here yesterday.


But this was taken about two hours ago

...and I have to drive both to and fro......k'garten
....and to  and  fro.....shots

...I don't know......Maybe I will just annouce to the world at large


IT'S A SNOW DAY....AND I'M NOT GOING....ANYWHERE!!!!!!

...And it's not really me
...it's all those other stupid crazy ass drivers out there
...no shots ...today
...I'm still debating about the whole kindergarten thing today.

BECAUSE IT'S STILL SNOWING.