A room of my own

I'm sitting here on the couch, I've been here since a little after 4AM because....once again I got woken up from what probably was a very nice sleep by someone sleeping next to me.  Grrrrr I can't remember the last time I slept through the nite.  If it's not hot flashes from hell ...it's my husband and his damn cell phone and his insomniac watching stupid youtube or cnn or some stupid movie.  And the damn lite from the phone wakes me up.  Why can't he be a normal person and get out of bed and come into the living room and watch TV instead of on his stupid ass phone,.  One of these days i'm just going to have to ......I don't know.

But no....it's me that's on the couch and it's 5am...and he's snoring on the bed.  Asshole.  I can say that cause I am pissed off.  So now I'm probably going to be in a crappy mood all day.

One never appreciates a bedroom of your own.  I sure didn't anyway.  And I only had one for a short time.  It was back in 1976 to 1977.  That's it?  No wonder I miss it.  It never had it for very long.  What with sharing a room with my sister, then some roomate before we got a two bedroom apartment. Then I met my husband and he moved in, and never left.  Sure there were those 20 plus years of him working out of town for two, three days...sometimes a week, every week.  But it's still a shared room......with his stuff ....taking over my stuff.  Call me greedy, but i WANT a room of my very own.  With my own girly bed,  Maybe a princess bed, Maybe a frilled up daybed with pillows all over the place.  There have been many times that I have come into our room and had to rescue my favorite sham/pillow from under my husbands head.  He even uses my girly pillow shams behind my back.  That really pisses me off.

A couple weeks ago I got pissed of and actually slept on the couch in the den kinda room on the love seat.  Cause we were disagreeing (arguing) about the room temp.  I like it on the cool side, and he's always freezing.  But I finally couldn't take the stupid ass leather love seat anymore.  The damn thing is too slippery, and squeaky, to sleep on.  I WANT A ROOM OF MY OWN damnit. I used to wonder (back when I was maybe 4 or 5 years old) why my grandparents slept in seperate rooms.  I remember even asking them cause back then I thought it was kinda strange.  Her's was all purple and flowery and his was kinda bare and white.   But he always had the candy so his room was just better. He always said "ask your grandmother"  and probably gave me candy .....so I probably just forgot to go ask her.  But she always had the cookie tin full of gingersnaps.  So it all evened out in the end.

And come to think of it, my grandmother raised three boys so having a flowery girly room was probably heaven and something to look forward to after she reached a certain age. Cause I know she didn't always have this room.  Cause my parents and both me and my sister lived in that house with the two other brothers for the first years of our lives.  So that's six adults and two babies in a three bedroom house.  Yikes.
That`s the same house I later purchased(after i squatted in for 6 months) from my uncle, when I decided my kids needed to go to school in my old highschool.  So I moved back home, but that`s another story. I wonder if anyone appreciated my grandmothers sacrifices I know I don`t feel appreciated for any of mine in the last couple years of helping financially strapped kids with unexpected preganacies back to back .  My husband is still pissed at me for deciding for him that we will look after the g`kids until they are finally in grade one and don`t need the expense of daycare.  That we`re all living under one roof in order to help our kid purchase a home next year.

Now I'm in the same sorta situation.  Things have a way of coming full circle don't they...

Here I am, with my husband...living in a house with my daughter and her husband and two g`kids. At least I don`t have any unmarried other adult children living under one roof, like my grandmother had to deal with.  Well if anything, it is a much bigger and much more comfortable house that she suffered through.  But still....I WANT A ROOM OF MY OWN....with my own bed....with my own stuff...and my own candy supply that I don`t have to share with g`kids.   Is that asking to much.

There is another room, currently not being used.  But I bet no one will understand.  And if I move into it....I can just imagine the explaining I will have to do.  My kids will probably start wondering about the state of our marriange....though not the best in the world.  Certainly not worthly of seperate rooms.  I wonder how long it will be before they start to worry about which one is going to get stuck with which one of us in old age.  HAHAHA  I should do it just to shake them up a bit.

I`m going to start looking for a bed.  I think I`m old enough for a room of my own, and damn it.....I`m worth it.

And IT HAS TO BE SAID

THANK YOU GRANNY ``N``` ....that`s what I called her.  `I APPRECIATED YOU....REALLY I DID